Do you hold space for yourself?

Picture by Rachael Gorjestani on Unsplash

A little while ago I was listening to a short story on my mindfulness app. It explained the value of listening to other people. The value of sincerely listening, as a sound-board to a friend, a colleague or a family-member, in a nonjudgmental way. Not sharing right away your own opinions and well-meant advices.

This practice was called ‘holding space’ for someone, your counterpart. In fact, that is what a big part coaching is all about. And yes, that is valuable. 

 The expression ‘holding space’ reminded me of my time in South-Africa.  At official events, with invited speakers or lecturers, these special guests were often escorted to a separate room, away from the buzz, the other attendants, so they could meet each other or concentrate on their speech. It was well-meant, a sign of respect, but many times very quiet, formal, and even impersonal in there.  No connection with the crowd you were going to address made it difficult to sense the ambiance and the best tone to use. I never enjoyed these so-called holding rooms very much, despite the good intentions behind it.

Reflecting on the value of ‘ holding spaces’, literally as in South Africa or metaphorically as during a one-to-one session, I realized there is another special holding space, perhaps even more important.

It is the basis of your own identity: the space you hold for yourself, by allowing yourself the  time, patience and compassion to grow, and become the true version of your own being. The space we need e.g. to recover after a stressful time or event.

Back to the title of this story. Ask yourself from time to time: do I hold space for myself? Enough? Where? When? Make it a habit, to support your own growth, to build resilience and to recover from pressure.