Does your skin still fit?

Growing and shedding

She came to see me, Janet, one of my first clients. Her question involved her career-path. She felt stuck. In her own words: ‘it feels like I’m wearing a coat that’s become too tight.’ She wanted upward mobility, but was considered to be a specialist. Having reached the highest level among specialists, she had not been promoted for a while.

We sat together and explored during a few sessions her support-system of friends, family, colleagues, her beliefs, opinions, the things she enjoyed doing, both at work and at home.

We discussed how she could make it clear to her manager and colleagues that she was interested in a much broader range of topics than they probably assumed (e.g. by asking her manager about the possibility of a short internship at another section of the department). She also shared her love of art with me, and appeared to be attending art classes in her own free time. Nobody at the office knew about this. So even a short exchange with a colleague of the international cultural cooperation department was an option we talked about, so she could find out if that was a feasible career-path.

Within three months, we concluded there was no need for another meeting. She had started to actively explore some options and possibilities, had a better sense of what was important to her, and expressed her ideas to managers and co-workers openly. She had the feeling again that there were new, comfortable jackets out there, to try on and grow into. She looked happy and confident.

The feeling of being stuck and wanting to grow into our next skin, is a natural thing to experience. And we see it literally happening in other species in nature. Snakes and crabs grow out of their skins and shells, and leave them behind. We all grow, develop and sometimes need to shed our skin. Just like Janet’ s ‘coat’ felt too tight and needed to be left behind. I was not surprised to find out she eventually became the cultural attaché in another continent for some years. 

How about your ‘coat’?  Is it still fitting you at the moment? Do you still feel enough space to grow and develop? What options do you have?